Saturday, March 9, 2013

Back to School with Baby

For some insane reason, I thought that I would be able to hack going to a few university classes while my baby was still a newborn.

I know why I thought this. I thought this because I had absolutely no idea what caring for a newborn would entail. In fact, I deliberately didn't read books about what things would be like after baby.

Pregnancy and birth books, I devoured like candy. But I kept myself in the dark about what it would be like, possibly imagining it would be all love and lullabies and sweetly scented soft baby hair.

Kind of like my pre-pregnancy ideas, where I'd be some sort of goddess earth mother with a perma-glow and a beaming smile for everyone.

And we know how that turned out - I was a tired, nauseous, itchy, fat, hypertensive mess who hated myself for nine months. Actually, the exact opposite of an earth mama.

And same with parenthood. It isn't glamorous and it is absolutely not a good time to take "Leadership, Management and Decision Making" or "Program Planning".

Here's why:
1. The earth shattering guilt you feel when you leave your baby with your spouse for the first, second, third, etc. time. Yes, its liberating but you feel the pull of your baby the entire busride downtown.

2. Assignments don't seem to get done. And you can't seem to care about them while changing a poopy diaper, or when baby is yowling like a fiend.

3. Not really too affordable to pay $1000 tuition when you're on EI.

4. Nowhere to pump! I had to sit on the filthy floor in the accessible washroom. Yee-uck.

5. Textbook? What textbook?

6. Lack of sleep meant that I didn't retain a single useful piece of information from any of my lectures. None at all. Even though I am passing the courses, I did not learn anything from them.

Now. Could someone please tell my husband that his egg-salad guacamole sandwich is absolutely disgusting????

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Good Sleep, Bad Sleep

I am not complaining about my baby's sleep habits. More often than not, she is pretty consistent (see earlier post). Plus, I already complained about her habits (again, see earlier post).

This time I am complaining about my own sleep. Why is it, at 2am, the baby is sleeping beautifully, while I am wide eyed and tossing around my bed, mind racing, unable to relax? All I want is sleep! Blissful, dreamless slumber.

Instead I get nothing.

I have never had insomnia before in my life, but now I feel for all those people who suffer from it. It sucks, I wish I could take an Ambien.

Happily, this only happens every other night. The following night I am so exhausted that I have no choice but to sleep. C'est la vie!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

City of Toronto Fun Programs

I have never participated in one of these programs, but apparently I live very close to a community centre that offers some fun activities for moms and babies. I signed up for Mom and Baby yoga, and Me & My Baby Playtime. Not knowing how difficult it would be to get in, I signed in this morning at 7am to grab a spot in both classes. I really needn't have bothered. It is now 9am and there are still spaces available in both classes. Not that many, but I figure if you tried at some point today you could get in. Perhaps my community centre is not as well used as others. I've heard stories that you have to log in right away to get a spot, but I didn't seem to have any problem. The website requires you have a family number and a client number to register. Surprisingly, you can't get these online, you have to phone. I did that on Monday, only to be greeted by the most lacklustre telephone operator in the history of the universe. I get that you hate your job, you are tired, and you don't want to talk to people on the phone. But at least put a little bit of enthusiasm in your voice? Don't sound so defeated, I was nice, I only wanted a client number!! I was not calling to complain! I am not sure why one can't do this online as she just took down my name, age and address then gave me my numbers. Anyways, the programs start in April, so I will update on their quality then.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Mommy Boot Camp

Yesterday I went to Mommy and Baby boot camp at a local gym. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Now every single muscle in my body hurts. I am pretty sure I won't be going to the bathroom today because that would involve climbing stairs. And I don't think I can do it (again). I had to go down them once, and nobody wants a repeat performance. We did something called "circuits". There were three sets of three activities, done twice each. Sound confusing? Not really, but once we had gone through all three sets of three, I thought I was home free. And then what? We had to do them all again one more time... I thought I would expire at the end. Is it wrong to hope your baby cries so you can get out of doing plank rows? Mun-Mun didn't come to the rescue, and only decided to cry at the end during stretching, my actual favourite part. So last night while nursing, my tricep crunked into a hefty knot and I wasn't sure I could support my baby. I attempted stretching but that took the nipple right out of her mouth and a loud scream ensued. At least I know I have abs, because I can feel them every time I take a deep breath.

Monday, March 4, 2013

3 months and only sleeps 3 hours

Sleep is the new gin and tonic. Its what I want after a long bout of crying (from the baby), its what I want before, during and after a meal. It is something that I sit here and wish for, knowing how elusive it is and that it may never come, or if it does come, it will be disappointingly tiny. Like 5 minutes when you want 10 hours. Fortunately for me, I'm going to Texas next week and my mother will help out (a lot). I am planning to catch up on my sleep deficit while there but until then... My little 3 month old only sleeps for 3 hour stretches at night. Her sleep record was 5 hours, 38 minutes (or was that 4 hours, 38 minutes? - too tired to remember). That seems like ages ago. Now I put her down at 7:30ish, she is up at 8:30, 9:30 then will sleep until midnight or 1am. Then, every three hours more boob. This is the price I am paying for wanting a baby. Who knew it would be like this? I read tales of moms with darlings who already sleep through the night. Bully for them. This little Mun-Mun refuses and so here I sit, whining about no sleep.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

On Laziness. And Newborns.

Guess its time to dust this old blog off. I am so lazy. I was pregnant for 9 whole months and didn't blog about it once. And now I have a three month old child. I believe that for the past three months I shall be excused for my laziness. It wasn't that I didn't have time! I just didn't have inclination. Sigh. Being a parent to a newborn sucks balls. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I don't know how people have more than one child. My grandmother had eight! I couldn't do it. She was a much, much better person than I am. A saint. Newborns are difficult. Taking care of one has been the most difficult and the most boring thing that I have ever done. I have made so many friends with games on Facebook in the past few months. And I still can't distinguish between my baby's cries. Are you hungry? (give nipple...), no? Are you wet? (check diaper...), no? Are you tired? (Swaddle yowling child and place on bouncy chair...), no? etc, etc. Sometimes nothing works and I start over. Eventually one of them is right and then, back to my Facebook games if she's sleeping, and back to waving a toy over her face if she wants to play.