Saturday, March 9, 2013

Back to School with Baby

For some insane reason, I thought that I would be able to hack going to a few university classes while my baby was still a newborn.

I know why I thought this. I thought this because I had absolutely no idea what caring for a newborn would entail. In fact, I deliberately didn't read books about what things would be like after baby.

Pregnancy and birth books, I devoured like candy. But I kept myself in the dark about what it would be like, possibly imagining it would be all love and lullabies and sweetly scented soft baby hair.

Kind of like my pre-pregnancy ideas, where I'd be some sort of goddess earth mother with a perma-glow and a beaming smile for everyone.

And we know how that turned out - I was a tired, nauseous, itchy, fat, hypertensive mess who hated myself for nine months. Actually, the exact opposite of an earth mama.

And same with parenthood. It isn't glamorous and it is absolutely not a good time to take "Leadership, Management and Decision Making" or "Program Planning".

Here's why:
1. The earth shattering guilt you feel when you leave your baby with your spouse for the first, second, third, etc. time. Yes, its liberating but you feel the pull of your baby the entire busride downtown.

2. Assignments don't seem to get done. And you can't seem to care about them while changing a poopy diaper, or when baby is yowling like a fiend.

3. Not really too affordable to pay $1000 tuition when you're on EI.

4. Nowhere to pump! I had to sit on the filthy floor in the accessible washroom. Yee-uck.

5. Textbook? What textbook?

6. Lack of sleep meant that I didn't retain a single useful piece of information from any of my lectures. None at all. Even though I am passing the courses, I did not learn anything from them.

Now. Could someone please tell my husband that his egg-salad guacamole sandwich is absolutely disgusting????

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